Do I really love him?
by Thunder Dancer
Summary: After an incident with Jacob, Bella thinks "Do I really Love Edward? or am I kidding myself?"
1. Chapter 1

( The couples are EdwardxBellla and then bellax Jacob)

Bella's ov:

I looked at the most beautiful face in the whole world. Edwards. His face was painfully like an angels.

"Bella..." he whispered.

Even his voice was beautiful. The was he said my name was adoringly perfect, that it sent a felling a pleasure and peace run through me.

"I love you," He said.

"I know you do," I said.

* * *

I woke late the next day. Edward had gone.

"Hunting probably," I said, getting up.

How long would I have to wait to be able to go wih him, to hunt with him, to move gracefully without any awkwardness and awkwardness? How long till I am a beautiful as Rosalie? Or even Alice? Edward said soon, but how soon would that be?

I moved round the house, actually making it to the bathroom without falling, which was a big achievement for me. I walked into the shower and turned on the tap. The cold water felt good on my hot sikn. After about an hour in the shower, I got out and dried my body. My hair was damp so I let it dry naturally. I suddenly remembered I haven't eaten. But I didn't feel hungry. So cooked my eggs sunny-site up and ate them down. I thought about going to Jacob's but then Edward would get worried about me. Bu then again, I haven't seen Jacob in about a month so it would be nice to see my friend again.

I got on my best clothes. A new lilac and blue dress Alice got me yesterday, and it started to embarrass me, as I walked along the road, men whistled at me and my cheeks were burning. I was glad when I got inside my truck. I felt strangely out of place. I put the keys in and started to drive.

I soon reached Jacob's house. I parked my car outside their house. My car once belonged to Billy Black (Jacob's father) but when he had to be put in a wheelchair, he gave me the car.

I knocked on the door. Billy answered it.

"Hi Bella," he said, his eyes hard.

I always found it hard to speek to Billy; unlike Jacob, who was as easy to talk to as it was as easy to breath air.

"Jake here?" i asked him.

"He's in his room," He said back.

"Thanks."

He moved so i could come in.

I walked to Jake's room. Before I knocked his familiar voice ringed through my ears.

"Come in Bella," He said.

I walked in, smiling

"Hi Jake," I said shutting the door behind me.

He looked at me, and I was sure he was blushing.

"Wow Bells, you look awesome. Special occasion?" he asked.

"I going to see my best friend, who i haven't seem for s month," I said.

"He must be real lucky," Jacob said, smiling.

"How are you," i asked, sitting on the side of Jacob's small bed.

"I'm fine. School is fine,Leach; thep ain in the ass," Jake said.

"I heard that!" A voice said from downstairs shouted.

I laughed quietly.

"How are you?" he asked me, looking into my eyes.

"I'm fine as always, Edward is still amazing," I said.

Jake grimaced. Whenever we were on the topic Edward he suddenly got angry, but mostly because he knows he can never get me. Not because of Edward.

"You know I love you right/" I said trying to read his face, but it was almost impossible to read a face like Jacob's/

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"That your making a mistake. Edward is no good for you, Bells," He whispered.

"Edward is everything but bad for me. he's my world, my soul mate," I said.

"Like you believe in that crap," Jake said.

"I do believe in it actually," I yelled, my face hot with anger.

"I love you Bella, and I will keep fighting for you," He yelled, grabbing me and pressing his body to mine. When Edward did this, I felt so safe, so at home, but with Jacob, It felt different, like he was trying to grasp on something he couldn't hold on to.

"Jake get off me," I yelled. He reluctantly let go off me.

I ran downstairs, forgetting to say goodbye to Billy. I walked to my truck, turned the keys and the car sprang into life. I drove home.


	2. Chapter 2

Bella's pov:

I got home faster than expected and my angel was already at the door, waiting for me. I walked to him, hugging him.

"How are you," His honey like voice asked me, his cold hand stroking my face

"I'm fine Edward," I said.

He pulled me inside, shutting the door. Charlie was at work so we had the house to ourselves. His golden eyes were so perfect, in every way. The perfect definition of topaz.

"Your eyes are so beautiful. I can't get over them," I said

Soon my eyes would be like that; irresistible, making the person looking into them feel as if they were being pulled towards you by the magic that his eye healed , looking at you as if he could see your soul. His eyes were magic. I smiled at him, and I couldn't have been any happier.

Suddenly my stomach ruined the romance.

"I'll cook for you," He said.

I smiled at him and followed him to the kitchen. The food he cooked smelt wonderful. Eggs, bread and mushrooms.

"Thanks, "I said smiling at him.

I picked up my fork and knife and dug in. It tasted hot on my tounge , but I was so cold it felt so good.

"Have you got any plans today?" I asked him, after I finished.

"Yeah. Emmett said he found a place where we can hunt," he said.

How long till I can hunt with you?" I asked.

"Soon, Love, Soon," he said, kissing me tenderly.

I deepened the kiss. He parted and smiled. A hard knock came from the door.

"You, brother, are you ready or what?" Emmett yelled through the letterbox.

"I'm coming in a minuet," he said.

I looked at him.

"Go out with Alice or something..." He said, kissing my forehead and leaving.

I sighed. When he was gone, my energy seemed so low. Maybe I should spent the day with Alice. Would she let me get away with my old jeans and sweat shirt? I put it on anyway. I put my hair in a high ponytail today. I got in my turck and drove to the Cullen's house.

Rosealie answered the door. The blonde gave me a snear.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, hatred seeping through her words, he every movements.

"I'm here to see Alice," I said.

The vampire called Alice was by the door, almost a second before I said her name.

"Bella? What are you wearing?" She cried.

I looked sheepishly at her. She sighed.

"I need to get you a whole new wardrobe..." She said, looking me up and down.

"But I like my clothes," I said.

"Come in," She said, remembering I wasn't even in the house yet.

I walked in. Jasper, Alice's mate, came to greet me.

"Hello, Bella," he said.

"Hello Jasper. Why aren't you with Edward and Emmett/" I asked.

"I ate yesterday," He said back.

"h."

Carlisle was by Edward's piano.

"Hello, Bella," he said.

Alice came in dressed in a smart buissness suite kind winter coat and dress.

"Come. let's go shopping."

* * *

We came back three hours later. My feet were so sore when I sat down . Emmett and Edward were back. I had him b his waist, and my head was on his chest,

Rosealie was upstairs.

Emmett was outside, working out, even though he didn'y need to. I soon feel asleep on his chest.

I woke up. I looked outside the window and it was dark.

"Crap! I slept all day!" I cried.

"You needed it," Edward commented.

Esme handed me a plate of overflowing food.

"Your stomach was rumbling in your sleep so I made you some food," She aid.

I smiled at her, took the plate from her and started to eat.

I handed her the plate once I had finished the food.

It was awesome, almost better than Edward's cooking.

"Thanks Esme," I said.

"Your welcome," She replied.

The door was knocked on heavily. Edward sighed.

"Come in," He said with an exasperated sigh

The door opened and Jacob stepped in. He smirked at us.

"Hi, leaches," He said.

What are you doing here mutt?" Rosealie asked.

"I'm here to see Bella, Idiot..." Jake said, walking towards me and sitting beside me.

"hiya, Bells. Betcha you didn't exprect me, did ya?" he asked.

I sighed just like Edward had done.

"Jake, why are you here?"

"Didn't you hear what I said to Ice Cold Barbie?" He asked, laughter in his voice.

I looked at Edward, wanting him to answer.

"He wasn't to take you out for dinner," he said.

I looked back at Jake and he blushed.

"Well... I kind do... not to some fancy high class restaurant... a nice small one.

"What time," I asked.

He smiled triumphantly.

"I'll pick you up at 7. gives you about two hours to get ready. See ya then Bells," He said, getting up and walking out.

"And don't come here again," Rosealie said.

Jake said two unintelligible words and was gone.

I sighed and got out of Edward's arms.

"I'm gonna get in the shower. Wanna come with me.

"No. Get ready," He said.

I looked at him.

"Go."

I walked upstairs and to the shower.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella's pov:

An hour later I was ready. I was wearing a long ice blue evening gown with black high-heals with diamonds around the straps. The dress was sleeveless. I had a white scarf around my neck. I had sparkily silver flowers in my ears and dark makeup.

"Bella... You look beautiful," Alice said.

I was gonna die tonight. And who's fault was that? The high-heals and ALice's

I was gonna trip and fall in these things.

Jake soon came. He was dressed in a black tux and a blue tie.

"Hello," He said. He then whistled at me.

"Hot" He said and that made me blush.

"Let's gp," He said, taking my hand and walking out. His had was as hot s ever but it strangely felt comfortable.

There was a blue Lexus outside.

"Oh wow Jake. Is this yours?" I asked.

"'s Paul's," He said, getting in the drivers side.

"Hop in," He said and I did just that.

We drove for about an hour and Jake stopped by a little cafe.

"The Dulaxe? Really Jake?"I asked.

He looked embarrassed.

"Paul said it's the best cafe in La push," HE said playing with his fingers.

"Lets go." I said, getting out, Jacob followed me inside.

We walked in. The place was small,only a few tables here and there. The place was empty.

"I made reservations. It's only us here tonight," He said smiling.

"Is it me or is it getting hotter in here?" I asked.

Jake laughed at me and got some menus.

I sat down and looked around. Very good colour coordination. black and cream. Nice.

"Order what ever you want and I'll pay for you," he said.

"Can I have the soup for the starter, stake for the main an ice cream sundae for desert?" I asked reading it off the menue.

"Sure," He said, getting a waiter and ordering for the both of us.

The date was surprisingly a good one. At the end, Jacob tried to kiss me.

"No Jake! I love Edward. You know that!" I said getting up.

"You can love the both of us. You love me too, right?" He asked, a pleading tone in his voice.

I walked out without saying a word.


End file.
